It’s the start of a new year. We’re supposed to be making proclamations of change and committing ourselves to doing life differently; to being “better” at life. We all do it. We all start the year with big ideas and a laundry list of ways we could have done things better in the previous year. And then, 6-8 weeks later (or even sooner) we fall back into our normal habits. We continue on doing life the way we always have. And then we feel sorry for ourselves. We call them “failures;” incomplete resolutions.
Here’s the thing, though. Maybe we’re not failing. The word resolution means finding a solution to a problem. Maybe we’re “failing” at resolving because WE’RE not the problem to begin with. Maybe we’re searching for an answer, a quick fix, a solution to the wrong problem.
If I’ve learned anything in my 37 years of life, it’s that you cannot be successful and happy in life if you can’t give yourself a little grace. You’re human. We’re all human. I’d like to think, for the most part, we’re all basic, good-hearted people who are trying our hardest to do life the “right” way. There is no perfect life and we need to stop striving for it. We need to accept and love ourselves where we’re at, for who we are and how we do life. If you’re loving your family, loving your neighbor and doing your best to be a good person, that is enough.
We all have messy kitchens, piles of laundry, kids who misbehave, disagreements with our spouses. We need to stop believing that there are people out there who don’t. I ask you to join me in choosing to be more vulnerable. Allowing people to see your “messy;” your imperfect moments. The more we share our so-called flaws with each other, the easier life will be for all of us.
The problem isn’t YOU. The problem is a golden facade of perfection that we believe we must achieve. And that’s just a bunch of bologna. I’m especially looking at you, moms. Motherhood is hard enough as it is, let’s stop trying to put more pressure on ourselves. Let’s stop pointing fingers and starting lifting each other up. Stop thinking about all the mistakes we’re making and focus on the beauty in each day; the small victories. Give yourself grace for the moments you may not get it quite right.
So, I promise to you that this will be a safe place. That, in addition to finding adorable pictures of my kids, this will be a place that I will be vulnerable to you. I will share my real.
That last one is key. I want to be your cheerleader. I want us all to find comfort in knowing we’re not alone. None of us have all our sh*t together. We all make mistakes, but we’re all doing the best we can.
I’ll show you mine if you show me yours.
Be vulnerable with me. If you resolve for something this year, resolve to be more authentic. With yourself and with your world. Allow us to see the real you. It’s not us that need to change, it’s our collective view on how we think we’re supposed to be.